To those of you who love to quilt like I do...those two words, YoYo and Spiral are design elements that many of us love to incorporate into a quilt. An antique YoYo quilt can conjure up memories from childhood of a comforting moment in time where you were snuggled under such a treasure, counting the beautiful "flowers" created by the YoYo pieces. Spiraled quiting stiches winding their way throughout a quilt, bringing your eyes to the neatly pieced blocks created by the hands of someone who loves you...beautiful images indeed.
However...those aren't the images I'm experiencing right now. I truly am struggling with my journey. I am YoYoing between moments of strength and weakness, joy and sadness, control and chaos. This battle is so strong and I'm afraid of failure. I'm stuck in a place where the emotional (and mindless) eating seems to be winning more often than not which feels like I'm spiraling out of control. Writing it here is both embarrassing and freeing at the same time. I absolutely refuse to go back to where I was and by putting this out here, it's real and NOT hidden which is how I got to where I was at over 300 pounds.
Thank you for "listening"!
Hmmm...might be time to talk with a "professional" huh? I've got to figure this shit out! Can't keep going this way and gaining it back is NOT an option! I refuse to give in to this "disease" or "disorder" or "addiction"....I'm stronger than it! I am...I reallly really am!
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