What is it about jumping jacks???

I can tell you exactly what it is about jumping jacks...fat rolls and big boobs! That's why I hate them. When I'm doing jumping jacks I forget about all the great things I'm doing for my body (including the jumping jack itself!) and see/feel nothing but the embarrassment of all the "extra" that I'm carrying around with me. I mean...who really wants to be smacked in the face with their own boobs? Alright, sarcasm is a tool I've always used for coping with situations that are uncomfortable so that's why I use it here.

Today, my trainer worked with me in a different way than he has before and he decided to add jumping jacks...he even said "I know you hate jumping jacks" and yet he made me do 3 sets of 30 jumping jacks between intervals of other cardio stuff. I wanted to hate him but he really knows how to move me forward.

On the same note, I was so proud of myself for taking a step aerobics/sculpting class last night. 75 minutes of really great exercise and I was able to keep up with the instructor for the most part. WHY then did I feel completely deflated afterwards? Because I looked at myself in the mirrored wall and saw what I hate most about my body...rolls of fat. I was the biggest person in the room by far, the sweatiest (is that a word?), and I let that image make me sad.

HOWEVER...I didn't let it make me so sad that I wanted to give up. As a matter of fact, instead of heading home after an hour and fifteen minutes of exercise...I grabbed my Kindle from my locker and jumped on a treadmill for another 30 minutes.

I refuse to give up but the reality is that I often find myself sad...sad for my body that I've done so much damage to over the years.

Week 5 Weigh In

I really had a great weekend! It was filled with family and friends, productivity, ACTIVITY and in the end, a small weightloss.

There's truly something to be said for getting rid of clutter...both physical and mental clutter. I'm currently reading a book (and doing the work) "Throw Out Fifty Things. Clear the Clutter and Get Back Your Life". It's a great book and as I do the work I'm amazed to see just how good it can feel to really get rid of useless crap! The space that is left after decluttering brings me a sense of peace and that's what happened this weekend.

Mikki, Ashley, JaiCie and I cleaned out the garage on Saturday. It’s a 1260 sq. ft. outbuilding that is a magnet for CRAP! I used to blame the kids for the mess but guess what?!?! No kids at home means no one to blame but myself! There’s always a reason for leaving something in there…I’ll get to it tomorrow, I don’t know where I’m going to store it yet, I might need it sooner rather than later, it’s still got a use...I just don’t know what yet…ON and ON and ON.

The truth is, that crap…the clutter that takes up physical space in our environment causes emotional chaos and clutter too. By decluttering the environment we surround ourselves with, we allow our hearts and our minds to be open to new ideas, new habits, new expectations of ourselves and those around us. There’s still more stuff out there to be gotten rid of. Old paint cans, fluorescent light bulbs, and a couple of drawers full of tools/nails/screws//// - Those things will go on the next round when I figure out the safest/greenest way to do so.

After cleaning out the garage and having a little while to play with my granddaughter Taylor before she and her mommy headed home, it was off to Little Larch Mountain (JaiCie…correct me if I spelled that wrong) up in the Capital Forest. The view was amazing.

JaiCie is a brilliant photographer (I'll have to get her permission to post some of her pictures in my blog....watch for updates on that!). She took Mikki and I to share a magnificent view. From this place high in the forest, on a clear day, you can see Mt. Rainier, Mt. St. Helens, and Mt. Hood. Saturday was clear enough to see all three. It was a real treat and sharing it with Mikki and JaiCie made it that much more special.

Feeling invigorated from the great decluttering activity and the gorgeous view, I decided it was as good a time as any to get in some exercise! My support team (and that’s exactly what they’ve been) was right there and encouraged me to go for it.

SO, I RAN DOWN A MOUNTAIN! I ran (and occasionally walked) for nearly 4 miles. Granted most of it was downhill….but I RAN DOWN A MOUNTAIN! It was so great. There was a time (as I was getting to the 3.1 mile mark) that I felt this complete rhythm…I didn’t want to stop at the planned 3.1 mile..so I didn’t! I kept running!

JaiCie was driving my car and going ahead then waiting to make sure I still wanted to run…Mikki was my water girl (she’s such a cute water girl!) and I did it! I felt so good about the run and the encouragement from them made it that much more exciting. Today my hips are really sore and my calves have a burn to them. It’s such a different sensation than the muscles affected when running uphill!

Tomorrow morning’s 5:30 am training appointment should be interesting! I hope he focuses on my arms because I suspect my legs will still be “tender” LOL.

SO, here it is….my official weigh in this week. Thanks to those of you who follow and take the time to read. Your continued support and encouragement keeps me moving. There are times that I feel like I'll never win the battle, but I will never give up!

Week 4 Weigh In

Ok, week 4 weigh-in is not what I wanted, but it was not a complete surprise. I've had a gain of 2.8 pounds. I can tell you that my male friends and family may want to stop reading but the truth of it is that when it's "that time of the month" (aka TOM), I become ravenous for red meat and DARK CHOCOLATE. I didn't completely pig out on either but I did make a couple of food choices that could have been better (i.e. portion control and side items). So with an increase in calorie intake, TOM bloat and not enough exercise...the results are the gain.

SO, my goal for next month is to maintain my weight through the TOM phase and be more mindful of the food choices. I hate to post this picture but here it is! It's real life and it's just a marker on this journey of change.

"How much have you lost?"

It's a question I get as people start to notice my pants getting baggy or more noticeable... my face is thinning out. I've hemmed and hawed over how to answer that question because if I go back to my absolute highest weight (which was somewhere around 310) I say "over 40 pounds". If I go to my official start weight noted on my birthday for the purposes of my blog (which was 258.2) I say about 9 pounds. BUT that doesn't feel right because I know it's more than that. SO, I decided to make my official start weight that of the photo I took of my toes (and the rest of me)on the scale back earlier this spring when I first intended to start blogging and never did. SO, here's my official start weight of 277 and the photo to prove it.

Now, when I'm asked how much of I've lost...I have an easy answer 27.8 pounds.

HELP - My Trainer Cancelled!

Ok, so Chris had to cancel our 5:30 am appointments for tomorrow and Tuesday. He said to me...."that doesn't mean you're off the hook! You still gotta come because you know what your'e doing".

I'm battling with my brain again! I'm saying with confidence "Oh yah! I'll be there with or without Chris". The voices in my head are saying shit like...."but you know you're not REALLY gonna go...you could get another hour and a half of sleep!"...or the negotiators voice who says things like..."well, go ahead and sleep in and we'll go to the gym after work".

HELP me be accountable! Who wants to call me on my schedule for tomorrow and Tuesday?

Little Successes Move Me Forward

So many "little things" have happened for me this week that I realized it doesn't always have to be a huge weightloss on the scale to prove that I'm making progress. An example? I was typing at work the other day and saw these little "things" on the backs of my hands...my tendons! I could see my tendons...big deal? Well, no but I can see them!



But wait! There's more....I can now reach places I haven't been able to reach for a while without trying to do some contortionist poses. NOW WAIT.....I mean my TOES! I can now officially cut my toe nails and remove my toe nail polish without having to hold my breath long enough to reach down for one toe at a time! I didn't even realize it until I was finished with the first foot and on the other.



And today, well...today I was able to buy a "belt pack" (which is the name on the label because I absolutely hate to admit I bought a fanny pack) that will go around my waist with room to spare. The reason I decided I wanted a fanny pack (ooh there it is) was during my walk this weekend (which I'll get to in a minute) I realized what I've been missing in the world as I sat on my couch/bed/chair/ASS while the world was happening all around me. I wanted my camera with me. Here's what I saw on my walk:

• I met a fellow morning walker, 62 year old Ed who decided that he wants to stay strong and vibrant for himself and his family. We walked together for about 15 minutes and he could totally keep up with me (of course he was about 6' Tall so he had long legs)! My friends and family say I walk too fast...


• A family of deer about 30 feet from me...grazing.


• A perfectly still Discovery Bay in the early morning sunlight...it was gorgeous.


• A HILL that kicked my ass the first time I walked it about 4 months ago - it was still tough but I made it without thinking I was going to die. I seriously contemplated my fate last time. I don't know how to calculate the grade of the hill, but it's so steep that going DOWN the hill is pretty tiring because you have to really control your speed or you'll go tumbling!
  

So, the walk was amazing and when I got back to my friend's house after a 1 hour serious cardio walk, I took her dog for a one mile walk without hesitation.

The final "small accomplishment" is a slight weight loss which I'll take with open arms. I'm down to 249.2 which is a loss of 1.2 pounds. Let's see what happens next week!

Week 2 Weigh In - It's a loss!

It really was a great week, having time with my granddaughter and ending it with a lot opportunity for creativity. I spent time working in my yard for some physical activity AND finished the quilting on a "Log Cabin" I've been working on for quite a while. The sense of accomplishment is a great feeling and then the weigh in....

I'm down 3.8 pounds (and in need of a pedicure!) and I'm looking forward to my next fitness assessment. I'm hopeful that it will show another loss in inches. That update will come on Thursday.

SO until then I'll share a couple of pics from my quilting adventures. Just finished this quilt(minus the label and binding) for my wonderful neighbor.

My week in summary

Wow...what we plan and what we DO can sometimes be very different things huh? My daughter has been volunteering at Deaf-Blind camp this week so I've been lucky enough to have my granddaughter for the week. I can handle the tasks of daily living, working 2 jobs, exercising, and being a Nammie (Taylor's name for me) and blogging! Turns out I can't! OR more accurately, I didn't. I suppose I could have had I sacrificed one thing or another. ANYWAY, I did blog Monday but the rest of the week has sort of been a blur! Here's what I remember....

Tuesday morning workout with Chris was FUN. He had me doing the typical stuff like lunges with a medicine ball overhead lift down the length of the gym and back, followed by Step Ups with the medicine ball overhead lifts and then...the fun started. He had me glove up and showed me how to jab, punch, uppercut, shin kick and knee kick. Too cool. I've never been one to think boxing would be enjoyable. But I LOVED it. I dont' think I've ever sweat so much when working out with him. Don't get me wrong...he works me out and I sweat but this was so cool...I mean hot...I mean exhausting! There was some DORK there trying to cheer me on - Chris had to ask him to leave because he was causing a ruckus but once that distraction was out of the way, it was really fun.

Wednesday I went with co-workers to Seabeck WA for Deaf-Blind Camp for the day. Because of travel time, I didn't get in a workout. AHHH - as I type this I see myself making excuses for not moving! Granted I was in the car from 5:45 am til 8:30 am and again from 4:00 pm to 6:30 pm BUT what did I do from 6:30 til bed time? Good question...I wasn't accountable to myself for that time. Honestly I dont' even remember what I did but it wasn't exercise. This makes me think of Tara's recent blog about commitment - (check it out at http://263andcounting.com/2010/09/02/commitment

SO, having referred myself back to the concept of commitment and the notion of "kind of" vs. commited to...I am "committed to" a better week starting this second...not Monday, not tomorrow, now.

Thursday was good with another workout session with Chris. This time he had me use a machine that I've been intimidated by since I joined the gym. I typically use the same treadmill or elliptical machines when I go in, which means I get to see the same machine...(insert sound effects here... dun dun dun) the Chin/Dip Assist. Since I was a kid - even during the years that I was a gymnast, I couldn't do a chin up. I've always HATED the idea of having to do chin ups so when that day came in gym class I was mysteriously absent, or hand an injury OR a broken arm in a cast. I SWEAR I didn't break my arm to get out of chin ups!

ANYWAY...when Chris said we'd be doing "that" machine, my heart kinda started to panic a little. I was worried that I wouldn't fit between the bars or I'd not be able to pull myself all the way up OR do the dip and actually bring myself back to the starting position. BUT I was successful. I know it's a little silly because that's why the word "assist" is in the name of the machine because you can set it to an appropriate weight to take your weight and strength into consideration. I think I need to start trusting myself and my trainer to push a little harder.

Friday is my LONG day...I typically work 8 to 12 at one job and then 1:30 to 11 pm at the other...I have to make that my "no exercise day" but tomorrow I'll be taking a walk/bike ride with Taylor before I have to give her back on Sunday.

The other thing that became evident is that I MUST start counting calories to have a better (clearer) understanding of what my intake is so that I can start seeing the results I want.

Thanks for reading my long-winded blog!